This blog expresses some very personal feelings I and others with acromegaly face, and it is not intended to draw sympathy or pity. I'm merely writing about this because I deal with these feelings daily as I look in the mirror. What I'm talking about is the question of how do I deal with the persona of acromegaly? As I mentioned in a previous blog, accepting that I have acromegaly was difficult and still is sometimes. New glasses were put on the day I found out I had the disease, and it has been challenging to remove those glasses ever since. Although I know I do not have the severity of facial distortion that can occur with acromegaly, I often see myself that way.
I recently had a discussion with my husband about the effect this disease has had on me and how I perceive my appearance now. I don't have any answers on how to deal with this, but I notice it's a common thread among some people with the disease. My self-image has changed, and I'm not sure what to think anymore. I never really had a problem taking my picture until I was diagnosed with this disease. Now, I can hardly find a photo of myself that I like. I was sifting through pictures to post on this website and I wouldn't say I liked any of the recent ones I had.
As a woman, I desire graceful facial curves and a softened appearance. Acromegaly can change that, or at least it started to in me. I know that it's subtle, but what I perceived to be normal aging was changes due to the disease. My skin began to toughen, turning oily and puffy. My forehead and jawline began to widen slightly. There are photos I have where the acromegaly is obvious. One of them is the image I posted in my before and after photos (taken a month before surgery). I have it posted because I know there may be others confronted with this and searching to know how much or little it could change them, too. Many people with acromegaly are diagnosed when the clinical signs are apparent; however, my appearance is not peculiar that a doctor could look at me and diagnose the disease. This is comforting in many ways.
While I am bothered by the changes that occurred, my symptoms improved after my tumor was removed. A lot of the swelling and puffiness diminished. I remind myself that the glasses I now wear may not be the ones everyone else has when they look at me…or are they? Mental challenges come along with the diagnosis, and I think that the loved ones of people with acromegaly need to understand how they might perceive themselves. How do I define what I look like now? I see myself permanently altered by acromegaly and wonder if it is as apparent to others as it is to me. Will I change any more in the years to come? I don't know. In the meantime, I live with the knowledge that the glasses I've acquired came about because of the diagnosis of the disease, and they can be removed when I try...
