This Sunday will be the anniversary of my brain tumor being removed two years ago. Two Years! My future seemed so foggy when I was first diagnosed with the tumor. I couldn't see things getting any better but only worse. I wondered if I'd even see my kids get older and how I would get through homeschooling and raising three kids after surgery for a brain tumor. I stood a chance of permanently damaging my pituitary or, worse, losing my pituitary altogether. Either way, I was expecting a lifetime of hormone replacement. Of course, the thought of drilling my head was so scary. Although I knew the tumor was not cancerous, this was going to be (still is) an ongoing life struggle. There was so much uncertainty.
I settled for just having a local neurosurgeon in Dallas take my tumor out, but no - my husband would not have it. He felt we needed to find the best surgeon, even if we had to pay cash to find him. David searched endlessly on the Net, looking for answers and clues about where to go. He took the reins in the whole thing, and I am so grateful for that. I had given up any hope of this having a good outcome. The thought of having a good prognosis with a brain tumor was just not in my mind, but David never gave up hope.
Before I had my tumor removed, Dave and I searched for information about acromegaly, hoping to read a personal experience from someone who had gone through this type of surgery. I found a lot of message boards and dry medical articles, but nothing too helpful or inspiring. I decided back then that when all was said and done, I would erect a blog and speak to my experience (provided I SURVIVED the operation - ha ha!!) because it was scary facing this alone. I have come thru this surgery with normal recovery so far. Radiation was not needed after all...although it may be in the future should the tumor rear its nasty head again. My pituitary is functioning perfectly to this day, and the most fantastic news of all - I am pregnant again! If someone had fast-forwarded my life from before the surgery to the present day, I'm not sure I would have believed it. My husband had a vasectomy six years ago, so another baby wasn't in our future, or so I assumed.
I am thankful to God for the outcome I have had with this surgery. Dr. Kelly did an excellent job in preserving my pituitary function when he removed the tumor, and he has continued to provide me with great care post-surgery. He has recently moved from UCLA to Saint John's Health and is now head of the neuro-endo department. So if any further treatment is needed, I will follow up with him there. David, my family, and friends have also been a tremendous support through this whole thing and I am so blessed to have them in my life.
I will end this blog with a repost of a journal entry I wrote shortly after I found out about my tumor.
Not only did I come out of this ordeal with good results so far, now I am facing a direction in life I never thought I'd see again - labor and delivery!- Sunday, May 29, 2005
Okay...so I think the circulation has returned to my limbs, and I picked myself off the floor and am ready to proceed to whatever is next in this illness. I've researched a little on pituitary tumors, and frankly, I'd rather have a couple more kids without an epidural before proceeding to brain surgery...but I suppose we'll have to take this situation and go with it one step at a time.
Yesterday Dave and I went on a date. It's been raining here in Texas and was raining pretty hard last night. We drove into a deep water puddle on the road at about 50 miles an hour. We spun around a couple of times with the tree, telephone pole, and cars in close view. Dave and I were silent through the whole ordeal-not even a scream! In the beginning, Dave tried to steer the vehicle to get control, but then we began traveling backward and sideward into a couple of spins. Dave finally let go of the wheel because we were going so fast and realized he had no control over the situation. He made some remark about that being "FUN." But, of course, it was not my idea of a fun date...ha.
I am fortunate to be here typing something on this blog. Amazingly we stopped in the middle of the road with no scratch on the car or us (Thank you, LORD!) We spent most of our date at Sam's auto shop to make sure the car was okay and eatin' an appetizer of pretzels (sure beats a trip to the hospital!). Reflecting on this little scare we had last night, I've drawn parallels to what happened last night and the news of my tumor. Right now, I think Dave and I feel like we're spinning in the car with all the horrible things that could happen in our view. And we could try to hold the steering wheel and go in a particular direction, but the reality is that this is beyond our control. We'll have to ride it out and pray for the best outcome. Ultimately, my life is in God's hands, and my days are no less numbered than what God had ordained at my birth. I have to trust that this is just part of the plan he had for me. Last night I realized I could die in a car wreck before I die of a tumor. When everything settles, regardless of the outcome, I will be in a better situation than where I am today...
